On Disagreement

I usually don’t fight. I disagree. I bring rational thoughts to the table that I’ve slowly constructed over hours, days, sometimes weeks. I arrive ready to listen, prepared to hear all the reasons I am not entirely right. I come knowing I will conceed. When I’m disagreeing with the right person, this approach is pretty productive. We talk, we listen, we hopefully reach a compromise.

But reason never captures attention the way you can by breaking a glass. Actually fighting once in a while–where things are personal, where it’s all out on the table, where you defend your point even if it means a night with no sleep or a sleep on the couch or a dramatic door slamming exit–can be good too. It may feel bad in the moment, like your stomach is filled with marbles, like your throat is stuffed with cotton balls. But after you come away knowing you can stand up for yourself. You will be OK.

Then comes the time to reason.


  1. Eh, as someone who’s had his share of beer bottles (and a crutch, once) thrown at ’em. I’m all for the more rational approach.

    Still, the occasional yelling is good for the soul.

    • John Mallett
    • November 22nd, 2010

    It’s been a while since I had something of that magnitude. Perhaps I’m due…

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